12.12.2009

unimportant things on an unimportant day

i'm in a terribly bad mood right now. why? here's why.
1) i can't stop thinking about a person whom i love so much, who seems to not taking my existence as an important thing, since i'm not as.. 'interesting' as i used to be.
2) i still have NOT found a suitable shoes yet... for my grandparents' 50 years of wedding anniversary. or to be more specific, i still haven't got a chance to buy the pair of charles&keith shoes (yes, they're not expensive but i'm so proud of them) that caught my attention by the time i saw it. dayyum.
3) my maid is terrible, and she acted as if she's my boss or whatsoever.
4) no HSJ news which means it's pretty much like hell to me now
5) my kartul thingie is done, but i'm not sure if i submit it on time or not. and i still have magazine thingie to do!
6) i can't find a very good comic that i like in onemanga
7) i skipped a volume of shonen magz
8) i miss hiruma, and other eyeshield stuffs
9) today is damn boring, and i was survived by my best friend, aurelia claudia, who gave me some old, good videos of HSJ to watch. if she didn't do that, maybe i'm already evaporating right now, because of boredom.
and lastly:
10) i'm afraid that i might fall in love with morimoto ryuutaro now T.T

i think i understand kamichan. it's been only, like, 2 years of HSJ but i doubt that johnny still wants them . i really miss keito and HSJ, which strangely makes their existence in my heart are getting BIGGER, actually. but i really, really, miss them. when i watch their old videos in youtube, i was like, i want to cry or something... it's like watching your daughter getting bigger and you almost don't know her anymore. i love HSJ now but i miss the old them. they are growing; of course that happens. but i have some difficulties in following their development. i REALLY HAVE NO IDEA WHY.

and now i really love morimoto ryuutaro, which is also weird and strange. i almost can't tell the different between my feelings to him and my feelings to keito. agh. but then again what's wrong with having 2 idols at once? i'll tell you what's wrong. NO HSJ FANS EVER HAVE TWO HSJ MEMBERS AS THEIR FAVORITE(S). i just can't decide.

suddenly i feel like the times when i would say "i love keito forever", "i'm gonna marry him someday", "he's the only one for me", "all other boys are invisible" and stuffs are.. just a big lie. T.T

see? i'm making my own life complicated because of things i REALLY shouldn't worry about, since it's just some stupid things that's not important at all, but the fact is that i AM worrying about it. ahhh how stupid. i am stupid.

i'm just hoping for two things right now: MORE HSJ news please(and maybe their presence will still linger on my heart a little bit)... and a better day for tomorrow.

oh, and lastly: i'm gonna try fasting! yeaaaay! finally! :)

~xoxo

by valya :) at 21:42 |